The Better

Heyo! Sup sups to my 2nd post, The Better!

It's been only a week? (I think) But I think I have a lottttt to talk about because well. I was really depressed in the last post right? Well, that whole week. I spent every single day, just thinking. Thinking so freaking much like just, floating away in my mind constantly.

I wanted to blog because I'm better now, a lot better. But a part of me also didn't want to, because Cindy reminded me that my next post would need pictures of like unicorn poop(marshmallows) or something. Spoiler alert, I don't have any great pictures haha. GUARANTEE'D PRETTY POST NEXT TIME! (sorry)

So, I think the whole start of becoming better goes to this paragraph topic, Christianity (ooooh dat colour). I didn't mention in the last post so I'll explain quickly. Last year I started Christian life, was amazing, I drift off, November I declared to myself leaving that life. Declared I will be coming back, but still did nothing and felt nothing from God.

However, now, I think I'm feeling it. When I say feel it, I'm basically describing the feeling that I would say, all believers feel. The love, the grace, something only my God can provide. I said 'think' right? Because I'm not sure, but thats the thing. I'm ready to try, and go church and read even if I don't feel anything, so that I can.

That must've been very confusing. But anyways. Now that I'm heading back to Christ, I know. I just know that if I do, I'll be happy, at peace. Which is how Christ helps me with everything else in life.

Just yesterday, I was depressed because uni was the next day, with all this homework I hadn't done because of the packed weekend that I supposedly left for uni work. Yeah that's it, I was so depressed because it's just so hard. But I told myself, Life is hard. Everything worth it in life is hard. Sounds so simple and like, repetitive right? But it's true, and I need to remind myself of it. 

What else is there... I went to the Lake with Anita yesterday. I felt so good, I hope I get hooked on exercising and don't stop again. Feels amazing.

I guess, I saved the... biggest story at the moment in my life for last?

My past girlfriend. She's been on my mind, the entire week. Out of nowhere. We broke up more than 3months ago, and we lasted around 5months. I've never felt so... crushed since after the breakup. I never thought a breakup could make me feel so sad. On HowIMetYourMother, one person said the length to get over a breakup is half the amount you've been dating, I know it's a show but I've always kept that in mind. It makes me wonder, how long will it take for me to be truly happy? It sucks, I stuffed up. But it does make sense. I stuffed up and I'm paying for it. Its just, this heartache is killing me, so bad. 

Damn that sounds depressed. But really, I'm just happy because I know God will provide.

Be Happy.

Life is hard. Everything worth it in life is hard.

God will provide.